Go with the Snow

The news channels are flickering with shots of snow plows maneuvering tons of slush, a leashed dog and its owner negotiating icy sidewalks, and a multicolored map of your area with blobs of white moving so fast you immediately feel some sort of urgency. Letters in red glide across the bottom of the screen: "WINTER STORM WATCH: Severe snow storm expected in next 24 hours."

Challenge accepted.

February is pretty late in the game to get excited about snow. By now your boots look like a yeti had them for a snack, your mittens are constantly soggy, and your 'do is permanently in a matted, static-y state of hat hair. However, this is the snowfall homestretch. You've honed your expertise for months. It's game time. Let's review the events:

Practicality at its chilliest.

• Snow stepping: Everyone else is wearing clunky boots. You stepped out in sneakers/moccasins/flip flops. But since you're a seasoned veteran of the season, you can still get around. While this noob ahead of you is trudging through the snow in nylon and rubber boots, you're prancing along behind him by stepping in all the nice foot-shaped holes he left for you. 
• Flake catching: If all the rain drops were lemondrops and gumdrops, nobody would care because catching candy is way less fun than catching snow flakes on your tongue. Advanced flake catching takes a steady eye and a low center of gravity. Weeks of plyometric training has prepared you for this moment.
• Shoveling: Aside from a great source of cardio and maybe some extra cash, excellent shoveling is a great way to make a name for yourself in the neighborhood. Dog-walkers and postmen alike will rejoice at the easy strides they can enjoy of your little strip of concrete. Good shoveling requires the right combination of salt and athleticism. Some say good fences make good neighbors. I say fences divide us. Sidewalks bring us together. And there's no better way to spread the love than shoveling not just your own sidewalk but also your neighbors. It helps if you do it perfectly.
• Igloo constructing: Igloos and/or snow forts are useful in many situations, including having a bunker for heated snowball fights and sitting inside and patting yourself on the back for making an igloo in the first place. Elaborate architecture is especially impressive. At the very least, add a shelf for your snowball arsenal. If you wanna get fancy, there's no limit of the roof angles, flying buttresses, home theaters, etc.

While everyone else is flocking to the grocery store for eggs, milk, and bread (apparently french toast is a snowstorm staple food) you're warming up for the big day. It's the calm before the storm, and not the kind your weatherman is talking about. You're going El Nino on this snow. Just because you might be too old for snow days doesn't mean you can't use it as an excuse for a good time. You're gonna own this snow. Get out there and make this snow your bitch with athleticism and, as we will always encourage, an optimistic disposition of competition and gratitude.